Suicide is painless. So the lyrics go to the song that has long been attached to the television show M*A*S*H. If you are not familiar with the show, you are proof that aliens do exist and have come to Earth. Seriously, who has never seen at least one episode of the show that ran 11 seasons? Now, if you are like me and have seen the show countless times, you are scratching your head and saying, “Dude, I don’t remember any words to that song that plays as the opening credits are displayed.” And you know what? You would be right. There are no words that are being sung. A quick search on this amazing thing they call the internet told me the producers used an instrumental version because the words were to too morbid and dark. It’s true. They are. But the oft-repeated line, “suicide is painless”…IS. A. LIE. It is not painless. In fact, the entire song is one giant, depressed, mess. If that is what the songwriter was going for, he nailed it.
Here is the truth. Suicide is not painless. Not even a little. It leaves a hole. A chasm. A canyon so immense it makes the Grand Canyon look like a crack in the sidewalk. I know this firsthand. I’ve had people in my life listen to the lie that there was no other option than ending their existence. They believed there was no hope…no reason to keep fighting…and no one would miss them if they were not around. They would just disappear in a painless act. I want to reiterate – it is all a lie. It is excruciating to be present in the aftermath of the biggest tragedy in our world.
So, the million-dollar question then is, how do we stop someone from believing the lie? I cannot begin to tell you how many times leaders in the military spent untold amounts of money on programs designed to end suicide. Every time, I would tell my team that no program was going to make any substantial difference in combatting this scourge. You can spend billions, create a thousand programs, send everyone to weeks-long training…and none of it will matter. That itself is a depressing and sobering statement…but it is the truth, because there is nothing warm-blooded about a program. There is no human connection with looking at a hundred PowerPoint slides. At 2:38 in the morning, on a Tuesday, in March, none of that is going to matter. What’s going to make a difference is if that person in the wee hours of the morning has someone willing to be present with them in that moment. I wrote a couple of weeks ago that it is imperative that we not let those walking in their valley of doubt, despair, and dare I add, death, walk it alone. There is strength in numbers. It has always been that way. I love The Message translation’s of Ecclesiastes 4:12, “By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.” Did you get that? “With a friend you can face the worst.” Tell me anything that is worse than suicide-inducing depression. But it can be defeated with a fellow traveler. And when there are three? The bond is strengthened even more.
I was watching the Marvel movie Thunderbolts today. I am one of those who takes several months to get around to watch a new movie. Obviously, it is not a new movie anymore…been out for months. Again, that is just how I am. But maybe today was meant to be the day I watched it. You see, I started writing this blog several days ago and decided to let it breathe for a while before returning to it. So, I am watching the movie and this part occurs that perfectly wraps up what I am trying to say. To set the scene, there is a former Russian assassin, Yelena, who earlier in the movie, had reflected on her life and felt she had no purpose. She was alone and desperate for something. She has now met Bob. Bob was a guy who just wanted to make it to the next drug high. He found some people who promised that but then did some experiments on him that changed him into someone with unlimited powers. The problem with Bob was that he suffered from loneliness, doubt, depression and all kinds of other mental health crises. Earlier in the movie, Bob asked Yelena how one deals with those feelings of self-doubt, loneliness, and depression. Yelena tells him that you just bury those thoughts deep down inside yourself. It was a lie, and Yelena knew it. But it is what she had always done. But now, Bob’s dark alter ego is consuming the city into darkness, and threatening the existence of everyone… and we come to this scene.
Yelena: What I said to you before was wrong, Bob. You can’t stuff it down. You can’t hold it in, all alone. No one can. We have to let it out. We have to spend time together. And even if it doesn’t make the emptiness go away, I promise you it will feel lighter.
Bob: How do you know?
Yelena: Because it already has for me. We can find a way out of here together. Will you try and leave here with me?
OMG, I never expected anything of substance to come out of a superhero movie. It’s just entertainment. You can put a Marvel movie on and just vegetate for two and a half hours. But this one hit hard, like a knockout upper cut to the jaw. This one scene encapsulates it perfectly. Togetherness. You see, that is the point. We cannot just stuff it down. No amount of sheer willpower is going to make it disappear. There is no magic red or blue pill we can take to alter this reality. We all need each other to find a way out of the darkness together. So, today, be a Yelena in someone’s life. And while you are at it, find a Yelena to be in your life… because – by yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.
Faith, Leadership, and History 